Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Christmas Blues and New Years Resolutions

I really enjoy the Christmas season. Really, I do! Following shortly after Christmas, I have found myself down in the pits and wondering what the cause of it is. I had not felt this way before? I wake up, make breakfast, kiss Nathan goodbye and hold onto him for as many seconds as I have left before we tear apart and go our separate ways for the rest of the day. Immediately following Nathan's departure, I am in a cloud and can't get out of it. What is wrong with me? It dawned on me yesterday that it is just the simple case of the Christmas Blues. Where after Christmas, I am left with nothing more to do than take down each Christmas ornament one by one while remembering where I got each one of them and hoping I don't break any of them.

This year Nathan and I got a real Christmas Tree. Nathan didn't get to go with me to pick it out, but he helped me set it up and put the lights on it. Not only that, but he saw to it that I got a Christmas angel to put on the top instead of last years gaudy blinking star! Today, I took down all the pretty tree ornaments and put them in their boxes slowly and carefully. I thought about all of the wonderful memories of Christmases in times past and all the warmth and sharing that came with them. I also thought about my family and all that they mean to me.

I don't have many Christmas ornaments since last years Christmas tree was three feet tall and this years tree was five feet. Not to mention we have only had two Christmases as a married couple. So it didn't take me long to take them all down and put them in their rightful boxes. It did take me long, however, to pull off the lights since this time Nathan wasn't here to help me. The tree being up against the wall makes it hard to walk around it. But, I was able to go partway around the tree, hang the wound up lights on a branch, go around to the other side, pull them toward me, wind some more, and get them all completely off the tree. I hated taking down the ornaments and lights. Stripping the tree of its skirt, I felt so sad and almost moved to tears that it had to end to suddenly. I didn't even have time this past Christmas to make hot chocolate with whipped cream on top and sprinkles on the whipped cream and sit under the tree reading my favorite Christmas story. I didn't even get to read a Christmas story. I stayed so busy.

I had wanted to watch Little Women at least once for a good Christmas movie. That didn't happen either. (And by the way, the newer movie has a Christmas feel to it for those who never watched that for a Christmas movie.) There were so many Christmas traditions I wanted to start, but none of them happened. I did however get to bake cookies, drink hot coffee on cold mornings while gazing out the window, bring out my best sweaters and wear them, host a Christmas party, see my best friend for three or so hours, but all in all, it is the before Christmas Day time that is more exciting than the day of Christmas. As soon as everything is opened and paper is thrown away and food is eaten, its over! It happens too fast, and this year much much too fast. I do enjoy watching people open their gifts from me and seeing the looks on their faces, but even so, it seemed like so much more in the box with paper and a bow around it.

I thank God for all the times spent on Christmas Day or any day that I spend with family and friends, but it is the weeks after Christmas that are so sad. Especially the un-lighting of the tree and un-hanging the ornaments. I know in another week I will be over the Christmas blues. I look to God for comfort in these lonely and quiet times.

I now know why people come up with New Years resolutions, to get on with their life after Christmas and to help get over the Christmas blues. It has helped me. This year, my resolutions are to start on Christmas presents right away, doing three gifts or more a month, and to read through the Bible in a year. So far so good. I have nearly completed one gift and I have been keeping on track with the Bible reading schedule and enjoying it. I don't remember if I have ever on my own read through using one of those schedules. So this year I am going to see how I do. It has been an adventure for sure.

I do look forward to the coming months ahead of me and what this year has in store for me. Nathan and I will be married two years this May, I have hopes to start selling books on ebay here shortly, and hope to help Nathan rebuilt and sell a computer of his and raise money this way so that one day we might be able to build and sell computers to help out with the finances. We have just been discussing the possibility of making money this way. It is worth a try. Since my salsa idea really hasn't made much to count for anything, I have been a little disappointed in that field, but I have to move onward and keep trying new ways. There aren't many openings for employment in our area for either of us to make more money so that one day we can have a home and kids. And we really have no desire to live elsewhere. We like living in the mountains where we get all four seasons and snow comes with winter. Prices of living may be higher up here, but jobs sure are hard to find. So I really do hope I can start selling items that we have, and don't need, on ebay. Then if I make sufficient amounts of money and do well with ebay I would love to put it aside and save for a downpayment on a home and second car.

I have great exepectations for our future this year.

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